Partners and Postpartum Mental Health: How to Support Each Other

The postpartum period is a time of huge change, not only for the person giving birth but also for their partner. Amid the joy and challenges of welcoming a new baby, both parents are adjusting, often facing exhaustion, worry, and unexpected emotions. While so much focus is often placed on the parent who gave birth, partners can also experience their struggles. When both people in a partnership make space to support each other’s mental health, the journey becomes less overwhelming, and the bond between them can grow stronger.

Recognizing the Emotional Impact on Both Partners

Postpartum mental health challenges like depression and anxiety are often associated with the birthing parent, but partners can also experience these conditions. According to the American Psychological Association, up to 10% of fathers experience postpartum depression, and as many as 50% of new parents experience some form of postpartum anxiety. Many partners feel intense pressure to “hold it all together,” or to be the one who “stays strong.” This can sometimes lead to their own mental health struggles being overlooked or minimized. Remember, it’s completely normal for both of you to feel a mix of emotions—joy, worry, fear, and even sadness—as you navigate this new chapter.

Acknowledging that both partners can face mental health challenges opens up space for honest conversations and mutual support. By recognizing that postpartum mental health matters for everyone involved, you’re creating a foundation of empathy and understanding in your partnership.

Checking In Regularly and Honestly

One of the simplest yet most impactful ways to support each other is by having regular check-ins. Make it a habit to ask how the other person is feeling—not just physically but emotionally, too. These moments of connection can be short, but they can go a long way in making each person feel seen and supported.

During these check-ins, encourage honesty and create a judgment-free space. Sometimes, just sharing a worry, fear, or frustration can make it feel more manageable. Even if the problem can’t be fixed right away, being able to speak openly can relieve some of the emotional weight and help both of you feel more connected.

Encouraging Each Other to Seek Help When Needed

Mental health challenges can feel isolating, but you don’t have to handle them alone. Encourage each other to seek support when things feel overwhelming. This could mean talking to a friend, joining a support group, or seeking professional counseling. Postpartum mental health support is available for both parents, and sometimes speaking with a therapist can provide the clarity and coping skills needed to get through difficult days.

For partners, it’s important to recognize that feelings of disconnection from the baby, stress from adjusting to a new routine, or feeling underappreciated in their role can lead to struggles with mental health, too. Seeking help, whether individually or as a couple, is key to navigating this challenging time together.

Resources:

• Postpartum Support International

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

• Therapists and Support Groups in Denver

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Luna Counseling Center offers postpartum support, including a group therapy option for parents who may be feeling overwhelmed. Their "Afterglow" virtual support group provides a safe space for parents to share their struggles and receive coping strategies from a therapist. This is an excellent resource for those who feel isolated or need additional support during the transition to parenthood​Luna Counseling Center

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My Denver Therapy provides support for new parents through specialized postpartum therapy. Their therapists work with partners who may be struggling with the identity changes, anxiety, or grief that can come with becoming a parent. My Denver Therapy

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Postpartum Support International - Colorado offers various virtual and in-person support groups and provides an extensive list of therapists who specialize in postpartum depression and anxiety for both parents. Their network is a valuable resource for anyone looking for specialized support in Denver​

By gently supporting each other in finding help, you’re showing that mental health is a priority in your family. Whether one or both of you need additional support, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Sharing Responsibilities to Reduce Stress

In the postpartum period, daily tasks can pile up quickly, adding to stress and mental strain. Sharing responsibilities, whether with childcare, household chores, or errands, can help balance the load and prevent burnout for both partners. Approach these tasks as a team effort, being mindful of each other’s physical and emotional limits.

One helpful way to manage this is by setting aside time to discuss who feels up to taking on certain tasks that day or week. Working together to find a balance can reduce the sense of overwhelm and create a greater feeling of teamwork in your relationship.

Practicing Patience and Compassion

It’s easy for stress and lack of sleep to make us short-tempered or reactive, especially when we’re both adjusting to major life changes. During this time, a little extra patience and compassion for each other can go a long way. If one of you seems withdrawn, irritable, or low on energy, try to respond with kindness instead of frustration.

I remember during my own postpartum journey, I felt so drained, and there were days when I just couldn’t keep up with the new routine. Dakota was there for me, offering emotional support and a listening ear, which made all the difference. Just having someone remind me that it was okay to have off days gave me the space to rest and reset.

Remind each other that the postpartum period is temporary and that it’s okay to have off days. By practicing patience, you’re allowing space for each other’s emotional needs and letting each other know that it’s okay to be human. Parenting is new for both of you, and it’s a learning experience every step of the way.

Finding Small Moments for Connection

Between feedings, diaper changes, and everything else that comes with a new baby, it’s easy for partners to feel disconnected. Prioritizing small moments of connection, even if they’re brief, can help maintain a sense of closeness. This could be as simple as holding hands, sharing a hug, or having a quick check-in over a cup of tea.

These little moments remind each other that you’re still a team, that your relationship matters, and that you’re both in this together. Staying connected helps strengthen the emotional foundation that will carry you both through the ups and downs of new parenthood.

Being Gentle with Yourselves and Each Other

The postpartum period is a time of massive change, and there’s no “perfect” way to navigate it. Embracing flexibility, lowering expectations, and allowing yourselves to just be—without the pressure to get everything right—can help take off some of the pressure. Be kind to each other, and remember that adjusting to parenthood is a process.

Letting go of perfection and simply focusing on being present with each other and your baby can be deeply freeing. Give yourselves the grace to make mistakes, to learn as you go, and to care for each other without judgment.

Remembering That You’re in This Together

Supporting each other’s mental health in the postpartum period doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes, it’s the simple acts of kindness, understanding, and open communication that make the biggest difference. Your relationship is an anchor in this new journey, and by working together, you’re building a strong foundation for your family.

In the midst of all the changes, remember that you’re partners in this journey. The postpartum period may test your patience and resilience, but it’s also an opportunity to grow closer and build a deeper connection. With each other’s support, you can navigate the challenges and find joy in the new rhythm of life with your baby.

If you're struggling, reach out for support today. You're not alone.