Dealing with Sibling Jealousy: Strategies for Reassuring Older Kids

Welcoming a new baby brings so much joy, but for older siblings, it can be a confusing time, filled with emotions they might not fully understand. One moment they’re excited and proud, and the next, they’re feeling left out or resentful of the attention going to the new addition. This mix of emotions is completely natural, even if it’s hard to watch. There’s no magic fix, but by approaching the transition with care, you can help ease those feelings of jealousy and reassure your older child that your love and their special place in the family haven’t changed.

A big part of this reassurance comes from acknowledging your older child’s feelings without judgment. It’s easy to want to jump in and say, “Don’t feel that way, you’re still my favorite!” But sometimes, what they need most is for someone to simply understand. By listening and saying, “I can see how hard this must feel,” you’re opening a safe space for them to share. They may need to express things that surprise you, like feeling angry about the baby’s cries or wishing things could go back to the way they were. Letting them share without trying to “fix” those feelings can give them the comfort of knowing their emotions are normal, even if they’re tough.

Spending one-on-one time together can also make a huge difference. Even short moments, like a quick bedtime story or a walk around the block, remind them that your bond hasn’t changed, even though family life might look different. Those small moments of undivided attention become like little anchors, giving them a chance to feel connected and valued outside of their role as the “older sibling.”

When the timing feels right, letting your child get involved with caring for the baby can also help ease their feelings of jealousy. For some kids, being able to bring you a diaper, sing a lullaby, or hold a bottle lets them feel important and positively connected to their new sibling. Not all kids will want this right away, though, and that’s completely fine. The goal isn’t to make them feel responsible for the baby but to give them the chance to experience how much they can contribute to their family. Each small task they take on if they choose, reinforces that they have a role in this new chapter that’s all their own.

This is also a great time to celebrate who they are outside of the sibling role. When they feel like they’re still seen and loved for what makes them unique, it can soften the fear of being replaced. Remind them of the qualities that make them special—whether it’s their sense of humor, a favorite talent, or the things that only they know how to do. Small comments like, “No one tells stories like you do!” or “You make me laugh like no one else can” create little reminders that their place in your heart is irreplaceable.

As you work through this time, model patience and compassion—not just for them, but for yourself. You’re likely feeling stretched in ways you never imagined, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. Be kind to yourself as you navigate the challenges and changes. When your older child sees you showing yourself patience, it teaches them that it’s okay to have big feelings, that challenges don’t have to be handled perfectly, and that love remains steady even when things are hard.

Sibling jealousy is a tender and sometimes difficult part of family life, but it’s also an opportunity to deepen your relationship with your older child. With your support, they’ll learn to navigate the big feelings and slowly find their bond with their sibling, building a foundation for a lifelong relationship. Through gentle reassurance and honest, loving connection, you’re showing them that while families grow and change, love is something they never have to compete for.