How to Create a Meaningful Birth Intentions

When people talk about “birth plans,” it can feel like you’re supposed to map out every detail of your labor from the first contraction to the moment you’re holding your baby. But birth isn’t a checklist. It isn’t predictable, and it definitely doesn’t follow a script just because we wish it would.

That’s why I prefer the phrase birth intentions — it gives you space to name your hopes, needs, and boundaries without tying everything to an outcome you can’t control. Your birth intentions list becomes something softer, clearer, and more human: a way to say “Here’s what matters to me.”

If you’re creating one, here are some gentle ways to make it meaningful instead of overwhelming.

Start with how you want to feel

Before you write down positions, lighting, or music, pause for a moment.

Ask yourself:

• How do I want to feel during labor?

• What does “support” look like for me?

• What helps me stay grounded when things get intense?

Maybe you want to feel calm, protected, respected, or encouraged. Maybe you want a quiet room. Maybe you want laughter. Maybe you want to be left alone except when you ask. Let those feelings guide the practical details.

Name what comforts your body

Birth is a whole-body experience, and your body knows things your mind forgets.

Think about:

• Touch — Do you like counter-pressure? A hand on your shoulder? None?

• Movement — Walking, rocking, swaying, or being fully still?

• Sounds — Silence, music, nature sounds, or white noise?

• Temperature — Cooler room? Warm blankets? A fan?

Your comfort matters. When you name these things, your team knows exactly how to support you without guessing.

Decide what kind of communication you need

Everyone processes information differently in labor. Some want every detail explained.

Some don’t want to talk at all.

Ask yourself:

• Do I want updates on dilation and time, or does that stress me out?

• Do I prefer simple phrases or detailed explanations?

• Do I want someone to advocate out loud for me, or do I prefer to speak for myself?

This part is huge — especially in hospital settings, where communication can get rushed. Being clear about how you want to be spoken to sets the tone for your entire birth space.

Include your boundaries

It’s more than okay to name what you don’t want.

Maybe you don’t want students in the room.

Maybe you want time before any interventions are suggested.

Maybe you want your placenta saved.

Maybe you want no coached pushing, or no one counting at you.

Maybe you want dim lights and low voices.

Your boundaries deserve to be on the page.

Hold space for the unexpected

Birth can shift quickly. That doesn’t mean you lose control — it just means your plan expands.

You can write intentions like:

• “If a caesarean birth becomes necessary, I want…”

• “If baby needs NICU support, please…”

• “If things change suddenly, I still want my wishes respected.”

This isn’t “planning for failure.”It’s naming your needs in every version of your birth.

Trust me — as a NICU parent myself, having these pieces written down can be grounding when emotions rise.

Keep it simple and readable

Your support team needs to understand your intentions at a glance, especially when things get intense.

Think:

• One page

• Clear sections

• Bullet points or short lines

• Warm, human language

Your birth team shouldn’t have to decode anything while you’re in the middle of a contraction.

Let your story guide you

Your history matters here — your past births, fears, hopes, trauma, strengths, and the parts of your journey that shaped how you show up today.

There’s no “right” list.Just your list.

As someone who’s walked through birth, NICU, postpartum depression, and all the in-between moments, I know how powerful it can be to name what you need. Birth isn’t just physical — it’s emotional, spiritual, and deeply personal. Your intentions help you stay anchored in all of that.

A birth intentions list is a tool, not a rule

It’s not written so that every detail must happen.It’s written to protect your voice in the moments you might lose it or feel overwhelmed.

And that’s what makes it meaningful.