Helping Your Child Navigate NICU Visits with Their New Sibling

The excitement of welcoming a new sibling can take on a different tone when that baby needs to spend time in the NICU. It’s a space full of unfamiliar sights, sounds, and routines that can feel overwhelming, especially to young children who are adjusting to the idea of a new sibling. But with gentle guidance, we can help older siblings feel safe, included, and even connected to their baby sibling during this unique experience.

Preparing Your Child for Their NICU Visit

Before heading to the NICU, start by having a simple, honest conversation about what they might see. Describe the machines, wires, and tubes in a way that doesn’t feel frightening but frames them as helpful “tools” the doctors and nurses use to take good care of the baby. You might say, “The baby has some special helpers—machines that make sure they’re healthy and comfortable,” or “Your sibling has tiny helpers to keep them strong.” Another reassuring way to explain it could be, “The doctors are giving them extra care so they can come home strong.”

Bringing along a photo of the NICU room or showing them a picture of their sibling in advance (if possible) can help make the setting feel more familiar. If they have questions, take a moment to answer them calmly, as this can help ease some of the worries they may have before they step into the NICU.

It’s also helpful to acknowledge that NICU policies may sometimes restrict older siblings from visiting, or may limit what they can touch or see. If your child can’t physically visit, you can still help them feel close to their sibling by suggesting they write “get well” cards, create a drawing, or record a voice message. These small gestures can make them feel involved, even from a distance.

Creating a Calm, Comforting Visit

When you arrive, take things slow. Allow your child to approach at their own pace, and give them a few moments to absorb their surroundings. NICUs can be busy and full of new sensory experiences, so a calm, unhurried approach can visit feel less overwhelming.

If possible, let your child have a safe way to connect with the baby, like gently touching their sibling’s hand or foot, talking to them softly, or maybe even showing them a toy or small drawing they made. These small moments can make a world of difference in helping them feel involved in their sibling’s care.

Building a Bridge Through Love and Understanding

Explaining why their sibling needs extra help can make a visit more meaningful. Let them know that while their new sibling may be tiny and need special care right now, they’re still part of the family—and they’re lucky to have a big sibling like them. Using simple, comforting language, reminds them that the baby is receiving “extra love from doctors and nurses to get strong and healthy.”

For older siblings, encourage them to think of ways to “help” their sibling feel supported. This could be through drawing a picture, picking out a small stuffed animal, or choosing a song to sing. Even if they can’t be physically close to their sibling, these gestures let them feel like they’re an active part of their baby’s journey.

Honoring Their Feelings

A NICU visit may bring up a range of emotions for your child—curiosity, pride, worry, or even confusion. It’s natural for them to feel all of this at once. Check-in with them about how they’re feeling, offering reassurance and validation.

Let them know that all their feelings are welcome and safe and that you’re there to help them through it. Something as simple as saying, “It’s okay to feel unsure. I’m here with you, and you can tell me anything” can help them feel more secure. If they feel uncomfortable or ask to leave, honor that too. Sometimes, just a short visit is all they need to feel connected to their sibling.

Supporting Yourself Through the Process

This time can be emotionally overwhelming for parents too, which in turn may impact how your older child feels. Remember to be gentle with yourself, and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or professionals who can help. By caring for your own emotional needs, you’re better able to support both your new baby and your older child as they navigate this journey with you.

Keeping the Bond Strong at Home

Once you’re back home, there are still ways to keep your older child close to their new sibling, even when visits may be limited. You can show them daily pictures, let them see videos, or even create a “sibling scrapbook” together with drawings and messages for the baby.

Including them in updates on their sibling’s progress can help them feel more involved, like, “Your baby sibling got a little stronger today! Soon, they’ll be ready to come home and be with us all the time.” Hearing these small updates can create excitement and a sense of closeness that may help ease any worries they have about their sibling being away.

Remembering That Love and Patience Go a Long Way

Navigating NICU visits with an older child requires a lot of love, patience, and reassurance. It’s a journey for everyone in the family, not just for the baby, and these early moments are an important part of building the sibling bond. By guiding them through each visit with honesty, understanding, and comfort, you’re helping your child feel safe and connected while showing them how deeply they’re loved through all the ups and downs.

While the NICU experience is never easy, these small, mindful steps can create a space where your older child feels like an active part of their sibling’s world. And through your support, you’re fostering a bond that will only grow stronger as you move forward together as a family.