Feeding on demand or keeping a routine?

Navigating the choices around feeding—whether on demand or keeping a routine—is one of the most personal and sometimes confusing journeys for new parents. Both approaches have their unique benefits, and finding the right fit can mean a lot of trial, learning, and intuition.

When I first became a mom, my own experience with Meadow was a rollercoaster from the start, and feeding didn’t come easily. She was born six weeks early, spent time in the NICU, and had a feeding tube. Because of this, Meadow’s early feeding journey was wrapped in protocols, routines, and plenty of intense scheduling to make sure she was getting exactly what she needed. It was medical, precise, and sometimes draining. But I knew it was essential for her growth and health.

However, as she grew, I was able to transition out of that strict routine into something more flexible—feeding her on demand, allowing her needs to guide us. It was such a healing experience, this shift from a tight schedule to one that was based on Meadow’s signals, her tiny cues that told me she was hungry, tired, or just needed comfort.

In a sense, feeding on demand can bring freedom to both baby and parent. It’s instinctive and responsive, allowing your little one to let you know when they’re hungry. For me, it was a way to feel more connected, to tune in to Meadow’s needs, and to feel less tethered to the clock. With on-demand feeding, I found that Meadow settled into her rhythms naturally, and I became more attuned to her hunger cues. There's a certain calm in letting the process unfold based on her needs rather than the hands of a clock.

But routines have their beauty too, especially for parents who thrive with structure. There’s a predictability that can feel grounding, especially when the rest of life with a newborn can feel so uncertain. A feeding routine can help create a sense of calm and rhythm to the day, and some babies find comfort in this regularity. There’s no wrong choice in following a routine if that’s what feels right for you and your family. It can be especially helpful in certain settings, like daycare or if you have other kids who need your attention.

So, what’s the best choice? There isn’t one right way—there’s only the way that aligns best with you, your baby, and your lifestyle. Feeding on demand or sticking to a routine both come with their pros and challenges. In the end, it’s about what feels right in your heart and works for your family. If you’re in the early days of figuring it out, trust yourself, experiment with what works, and know that feeding is more than just nutrition—it’s a way of connecting, growing, and learning about your baby, day by day.