Creating a Sibling-Inclusive Birth Plan
- Kat Allen
- Feb 28
- 3 min read

Welcoming a new baby into the family is a special and transformative experience, not just for parents but also for older siblings. As parents-to-be, we often focus on preparing for the birth and adjusting our homes for the new arrival, sometimes overlooking how this change affects the older kids. Creating a sibling-inclusive birth plan is a wonderful way to make the journey meaningful for your children, helping them feel involved, reassured, and excited about their new sibling.
Talking About the New Arrival
Start with age-appropriate conversations about the baby. Depending on your child’s age, this might be as simple as mentioning the baby growing in mommy’s belly or as detailed as exploring what it means to be a big sibling. Encourage them to ask questions, share their feelings, and even voice worries. This open dialogue validates their emotions and prepares them for the adventure ahead.
You could weave these talks into a little ritual—like a weekly “baby update” or letting them feel the baby’s kicks. It’s all about including them in the process so they’re ready to embrace their new role with confidence.
Choosing the Right Language
Using language that empowers your child is a key part of sibling-inclusive planning. Instead of framing their role as “waiting for the baby,” introduce them as a helper or part of the “welcoming team.” This small shift can boost their pride and sense of purpose as they step into this new family dynamic.
Give them simple, age-appropriate tasks—like helping pack a diaper bag, picking out a baby outfit, or choosing a special song to play when the baby comes home. These moments foster a connection rooted in love and excitement, easing any fears of change.
The Sibling’s Role in the Big Day
A sibling-inclusive plan can also consider how your older child stays connected on the day of the birth. Some families want siblings to meet the baby soon after, while others wonder how to include them in the excitement. As a sibling doula, I can help you explore age-appropriate ways to prepare your child for that first meeting—whether it’s right after the birth or later at home. For families thinking of having their child nearby during labor, I recommend discussing logistics with your birth team, while I focus on getting your little one ready for their special role.
If they won’t be present for the birth, you can still keep them involved with updates. A trusted loved one could send photos, videos, or even FaceTime to introduce them to the baby when the time feels right. These small touchpoints help them feel connected, no matter where they are.
Preparing for the Transition
The early days with a new baby can be an adjustment for everyone, especially siblings. Help older kids know what to expect—like hearing the baby cry or understanding why you might be busy with feedings—to ease their transition into their big sibling role. Let them know their new sibling will need lots of care, but reassure them that your love for them stays just as strong. Plan a few “just us” moments for one-on-one time in those early days to keep that bond thriving.
Encourage them with tasks like fetching diapers, singing lullabies, or sharing a favorite toy with the baby. These gestures build their relationship with their new sibling and spark pride in their growing role.
Special Gifts and Keepsakes
Involve siblings in creating something special for the baby—like a “welcome” card, a drawing, or a small keepsake for the baby’s room. Some parents also give their older child a “big sibling” gift to celebrate their new role. These simple mementos help them feel seen and valued.
You might also try a shared “birth day” ritual—maybe they wear a special shirt, enjoy a favorite snack, or watch a beloved movie while waiting to meet the baby. Rituals like these bring comfort and joy, making the day special for them too.
Embracing Change Together
Bringing a new baby home shifts the whole family, but a sibling-inclusive plan can help your older child feel connected, valued, and excited about the journey ahead. At its core, this is about creating space for them to love and be loved, bond in their own way, and know they’re a vital part of this beautiful process.
As a sibling doula, I’ve seen countless families welcome their new little ones with open hearts, making the experience special for everyone involved. If you’d like support, guidance, or ideas to craft a sibling-inclusive plan, I’m here to help bring that vision to life. Welcoming a new life is a precious moment, and including older siblings in the circle makes it even richer.
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